i've been having weird dreams lately. a few days ago, i dreamed i had an alien child and Commander Riker took his head off in front of me. Yesterday, i woke up after a dream about being chased by a minotaur (then, i fell back asleep and had the same dream again).

and this morning, i woke up from a dream about hanging out with my family on Christmas night, and some lady knocking at the door. i figured she was somehow religiously trying to get people to talk about what Jesus means to them on Christmas, but my mom (being my mom) wasn't buying it. she went out and talked to the lady, but only for a minute or so. when i wandered into the computer room, she was sitting at the desk looking at some website. the lady was pulling away in her car and she was towing some weird sort of little trailer. Ma, Dad, and i went to investigate it from close up, but by the time we'd gotten outside, she was gone. however, she had been carrying a load of weird things. the one i remember the most was a sculpture of a castle made entirely out of chocolate ice cream. it was so neat that i ran back to the house to get my camera. when i got to the door, though, there were two little feral cats trying to get into the house, but i'd spooked them, so they freaked out. my instinct was to pick them up and throw them (i dunno why), but when i did, one of them said, "we must kill the sphinx!!" somehow i knew the sphinx was Leetle cat (she's been with us for about 15 years, i think). so i was gonna stun them and...that's about as far as my train of thought went. so i'm slinging these little cats around trying to knock them out, but my arms are too heavy to actually get enough force behind it to hit them on anything. i ended up just throwing them off the porch and dashing inside. oh. and did i mention i'd gotten a lemur for a Christmas gift?? it was waiting for me when i got back.

do you see what i mean? the one about the alien kid and Riker was a lot weirder than this past one, but i'm wondering what's been up with these dreams. i can't decide if its having moved back to the dorm, or making changes in my social life, or maybe trying to be more productive in my schooling. whatev. i'll figure it out.

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Now playing: Chris Rice - When Did You Fall (Album Version)
via FoxyTunes   

so, a week or so before Christmas, my computer was broken. no big deal. paid for it to be fixed and all. but then my iTunes was saying that my account had been disabled for security reasons. what's the deal??? well, since i didn't have any of my old music at home (i'd left it at the dorm), i didn't understand how big this problem was until just now.

i just finished uploading the thousands of songs from my external to my comp again. and i decided i wanted to listen to a few of the songs i'd downloaded before. low and behold, iTunes sez "NOOO! WE DISABLED YOU! YOU CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING YOU PAID FOR IN THE PAST EVER AGAINNNN!" 

please! if you know any way that i can get this undisabled, it would mean the world to me. seriously. should i email someone to see why i've been disabled and to see if i can get my tunes back?? :(

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Now playing: David Mead - Nashville
via FoxyTunes   

Ma (talking about a pill bottle): it stinks in there.
Me: you stink in there.
Ma: your face is ugly.
Me: WHAT? MA!
Ma: and also, you're fat.
*dad hits me on the head with the pill bottle*
Me: ow, Daddy! it hurts me!
Ma: AND YOUR NOSE IS CROOKED!

Right now, i honestly just feel like complaining to cyberspace about how tired i am, how much work i have left to do, how much i don't care, and irritating some people can be. But, it's probably best that i don't, seeing as most people either know how i feel or have it much worse.

i ought to be diligently finishing this study guide for my history exam tomorrow, but i haven't slept well or much in a long time, so i'm not sure it's going to have a lot of accurate information on it. oh well. i shall try to do my best. but that may include some BBC surveys or Food Network recipes. i'm hoping to get to try out some new recipes during the break and starting a recipe book. om nom nom! foooodddd!

other goals for the break:
finish, frame, and wrap Rachael's gift
finish Luke's scarf
cook
make a scrapbook
read a book
watch tons of movies
sleeeeeep
sit by fires
eat cookies, cheesecakes, and pies
generally be joyful

if you're not up for intense Christmas cheer as the Holidays draw near, you probably shouldn't be around me.

so, i'm reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in preparation for the movie release, which is in 223 days. i discovered since working at the lib, that i'm a loud reader. that is, i have a tendency to laugh, gasp, squeal, complain, and generally commentate as i read.( i got on at 2 and will get off of work at 8.) Just now, i read through the part where Harry kisses Ginny after they won the Quidditch Cup! i literally had to hold my mouth closed, curl into a little ball, and shake because i was so pleased. Granted, in real life, Harry Potter would not really being going for her, but for the story's sake, i'll let this one slide. i did almost squeal with joy when it happened, though. i'm glad Ron wasn't a git about it.

i really love how my hair feels when it's clean. i like to wash my hair right before i go to bed at night so that i won't have to deal with wet hair the next day. my hair tends to stay wet much longer than seems necessary. I go to bed with wet hair, and when i wake up, i've got messy, but really lovely-feeling hair.

three more classes and a three-hour shift before i'm off for the break. supposedly Dad is going to pick me up tomorrow morning around 10 or 11. i'm ready to be home.

Update:

i got accepted into the International Student Volunteer Program. The way the program is set up, though, i don't actually have any obligation to it, though, until i send in my agreement paper and $500. i'm sure it will be pretty pricey if i get to do it. Boy, i'd sure love it, though.

also, i just watched a good deed take place. it made me feel slightly creepy, but also warm and fuzzy inside.

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?"
"the Politics of Life" Waking Ashland

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"14 Forever" Stars (Gack! i hope that's not true.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"The Crusher" The Ramones (what??)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Curl Up and Die" Relient K (well, this isn't true.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"The River is Here" Various Artist

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Bolero" Ravel

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"I'm a Cuckoo" Belle & Sebastian (really, guys?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Easy Terms" The Blood Brothers

WHAT IS 2+2?
"Carpetbaggers" Jenny Lewis

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Sex in the Kitchen" R. Kelly (bahahah!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"All I Need" Radiohead

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Off with Your Head" Sleater-Kinney

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"All Rise" Jersey

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Death is Not a Parallel Move" Of Montreal

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Happy Go Lucky" Steps

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Autobiography of a Nation" Thursday

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"The Storm" Disney's The Little Mermaid

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" Frank Sinatra

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Follow Me" Uncle Kracker

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"The Story of My Old Man" Good Charlotte

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"Here I Go" Relient K

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Shizo" Chance Fisher

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"The Worst Pies in London" Sweeney Todd

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Peace Beneath the City" Iron & Wine

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" The Beatles

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"Again" Lenny Kravitz (again??)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"A Cautionary Song" The Decemberists

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Sing for Joy" Lamont Hiebert

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"Blue Jay Way" Secret Machines

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"Sleep" My Chemical Romance

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Mable" Goldfinger (obviously, that's not true)

this week, i've got a paper, a project, and a weekly assignment due. so far, i have already completed the weekly assignment and the project. i need to work on the paper. it's not due until Friday, but the class that it's for won't be meeting that day, so i'd like to turn it in on Wednesday.

plus, Bryant and i will have been dating for a year on Wednesday, and i'd like to not have any homework that day. blah blah blah. i'm so gorss...


also, gross.

i am hungry, as usual. and now i'm wondering where my co-worker escaped to. he has on a South Pole shirt today with gold sparkles that keep falling off. so we tried to stick them to our faces, but mine have continuously fallen off. glue may be needed. he's got a pretty good nose ring sparkle, though. it hasn't fallen off once yet.

so ,i'm incredibly interested in doing this summer program called International Student Volunteers. basically, it is designed to be a four week program where you go to a foreign country and participate as a volunteer in either a conservation or social community development program and then adventure. two weeks are spent volunteering and two weeks are spent adventuring. the countries you can be sent to are New Zealand, Australia, Thailand, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Eastern Europe (Croatia, Romania, and Bosnia), and South Africa.

i think this would be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me, and i know i would love it. but it does cost a little bit more than i'm thinking my parents would lovingly cough up. but you're supposed to be able to raise tax-deductable funds from your community and such. i dunno. it would be awesome.

if i went on that trip, though, i probably wouldn't be able to do my summer class that i was hoping to get out of the way. honestly, though, for this opportunity, i would be willing to shove that back another semester and rework my schedule.

goodness. i hope this all works out with as little disappointment as possible.

          It was about ten years after the French Revolution, and i was probably about 16. My family had been French aristocracy, but had escaped the country during the most brutal time. Both of my parents had been killed, and i was living with my aunt, who was Judi Dench. Now, we'd moved back a very remote part of France, keeping to seclusion so that we could remain untouched. We were moving into a new house (which was more like mansion), and it had been a long journey home. We'd stopped a few times to rest from the carriage/horses, and to rest our servants. At one stop, at my aunt's disapproval, i went with some of the youth to explore along the road. i was dressed in a heavy gown, because my aunt still held strongly to the idea that i was a young lady and should dress as such, but it was such a bother. i sat down to rest for a moment, and happened upon the most beautiful pebble (almost rock) i'd ever seen. it had images in it that almost looked like it was painted and then encrusted in a thick clear glass coating. When i arrived back at the carriage to continue our journey, i showed my aunt the stone, and she took it away, saying it was a silly unladylike thing to have.
          When we arrived at the house, i somehow managed to evade my aunt/duties, and began to explore the place. it was huge, and every room had its own splendor. it seemed to have the same theme throughout, but a few of the rooms appeared to have been designed or built by a completely different person than the original architect. i was intensely fascinated. Every time i would find a new room with anyone inside, i would slink around the edge of the room, hoping to not be noticed, though no one ever said anything to me. A friend of mine had been looking for me, and when he found me sitting pressed up against a large chest listening to a wigged man play on the piano, he asked me to come with him, and he gave me back my rock. i knew it would be a bother to be with him, because he always followed the rules, and would do almost anything to stay out of trouble. i was on an adventure in this house, and would not be held back by that silly boy. so, again, i ran laughing away into yet another forbidden room.
          If the servants caught me exploring or prodding something i knew wasn't my business, they would pretend they hadn't seen me and would exit the room. they knew my aunt was very strict, and i simply had a playful nature. There was, however, a certain group of men that were like sort of a little military for us. if we were to get into any real trouble, they would stand for us, seeing as we were women.
          On one of my escape routes from these men, i found a large dark room filled with things that would make me trip and bruise me. a boy ran in after me and caught me when i began to fall. Startled, i tugged away from him, falling backwards over a stool. As it would turn out, the boy had been a childhood friend. Now, he was a member of the our guard. He had seen my fleeing, and followed me, more quick and agile then the older men.
          Together, we continued to explore the house. We came across this garden-like room. it had no roof, so we were in the night atmosphere, but it was enclosed by four walls, and each wooden wall had extensive decorative features. One of the walls appeared to have a hidden closet, so we pulled on the door until it reluctantly creaked open. Inside were coats. One was a British coat from the American Revolution, and the other was a blue coat from the American Civil War. As proper adventurists, we began to dress accordingly, he in the red, and me in the blue. Before i could even get one arm in past the short sleeve of my gown, we heard banging on the door into the garden and the loud angry voices of men. Another dash.
          We raced into the house through another door, narrowly avoiding a grand piano. We traveled through a maze of rooms quickly and ended up most certainly lost. Another turn through some high doors, showed us we'd entered the main hallway again, and the guard were waiting for us. So we gave in. The head guard announced that they had been searching for us because it was dinner time and everyone was already seated waiting for us. this whole time, i'd been running around with only one arm in the blue coat. As we entered the huge dining room, i quickly slipped the rest of the coat on over my dress and buttoned the three large buttons. As we turned a corner to be seated, i caught a glimpse of a few of my friends, who were laughing hysterically at the boy and my coats. the servants were even cracking slight smiles that they immediately covered with their hands.
          I was seated directly across from my aunt and her furious expression. She quickly called over the head guard, who it turned out was my friend's father. she asked him to begin writing a letter. and i woke up.

i realize that the setting was probably off. we were probably British nobility, not French ex-nobility. But it felt French, and that was the setting i had in my head in the dream. it felt like a movie, probably because of Judi Dench.

I know i haven't posted in a while (sorry, guys), but i think most of you see me enough to know what's going on without my needing to update every week. i may start updating weekly, though. just so my mental calendar will work better. we'll see.

i wake up with a headache a lot now. not because i'm a drunko or anything, but i haven't been sleeping much. the past two days, i've taken naps, which i really haven't done in quite a few months now. sigh. maybe this will get better.


today, i have these things to do:
Art class (9:30 - ~10:30)
see Dad (10:30 - )
lunch with Sam (11:30 - )
Health class (1 - 2:15)
work (2 - 5)
The Cherry Orchard (7:30 - )
get my bike fixed/pump the tires up
retrieve Love Actually from Bryant's house
finish Rachael's design
try to get inspiration for Future Art Party

when Dad and i scheduled time together, i totally forgot i'd planned time with Sam. Last year, i wouldn't have forgotten, because i would have been thrilled to hang out with her. Recently, i've felt less and less like making connections with most of the people i was friends with/talked to last year. Not that i don't want to be Sam's friend. she's adorable, but i dunno. 

also, my chain came off of my bike, and i don't know how to fix it, so Dad may just have to be my savior today.

updates weekly may occur from now on.

i love that i have the talent and patience to design. yeah, i know it's only cross stitching stuff, but still. rachaeljack , i'm designing the cottage right about now. it is looking pretty swell. once it's put together, it'll take some time, but i think it'll look great.

i've been playing around with different stuff on the piano when i'm supposed to be listening to my prof lecture. maybe one day i'll write a song or something. eep. big plans.

today was one of those days. when one thing can set you off and then, you find little pleasure in the rest of the day. i've spent most of the day in a blah mood, and i cried at least 5 times, though 2 of those were during Grace is Gone. just...guh.

Eric Nagurney! you always make the 5 minutes you stand at the desk the best of my shift.

In case you didn't know (which would be insane)...

halloween costumes:

Hocus Poke Us:
* except a lady and with a black wig.

The Hippo: 

and lastly, Fonteween:


Yay!!

where did patience go?

erm...would anybody be interested in Michael Buble on Saturday, October 18 at the Mississippi Gulf Coast Coliseum? the tickets are $80 - $50, but it's Michael Buble. i want to get my mom to go with me, because she said of all artists i listen to, he would be the one she would most likely go with me to see. i'm guessing i won't even go, though. entertaining the idea is just a nice way to pass time at work.

Dear Gustav,

would you please be so kind as to tell us which way you will be going on your rampage. i need to know if i should go home or not. quit being a tard head.

thanks.

Concerned College Student